Heart VS Brain round 1

me and my friend was talkin about love and stability and would u give up love for just a functional relationship....no i think because even though i was hurt befor i know how good love can feel and nothing tops its and i wouldnt trade it in just for a "good" relationship i need love to give it and recieve it. im single right now and yeah i could be in a good fuctional relationship with this guy i know but i dont love him and yes im preety sure we would have the house with the picket fence a perfect family structure and a companion to do stuff with but i cant imagine me pushing a baby out because i have a fuctional relationship. i cant imagine me rubbin there back because it hurts like im oilin up a machine me wiping there tears just because they are crying i am a person filled with emotion and even though somethings are simple i feel like certain things have to originate from love......i still think its better to love and lost then not have loved at all even if when u losoe it it is one of the worse feelings in the world....i think and think and think all the time.... I find myself thinkin about this one guy alot but i dont get him all the way yet. Only problem i had with him is that he upset me one day by just being a ass. He was like yellin at me and he said i was hung up on my past but it wasnt the fact that he said that it was the fact that i felt as if he was down grading the things i been threw and i felt like the person that is going to be for me will except that i do have hurtfull things that happened in the past and that they will just want to love past them and if i was holdin on to some things they would care enough and just help me to let go and reassure me that it will be okay i have came sush a long way that i wouldnt dare let anyone take my growth away from me in that manor but i just didnt want to fight like that so i just let it go and im wondering if subconciously is that why he interest me because he not like the other zombit i love u girl ass dudes trying to get with me i like a challenge someone tell me no ALLITLE then i just conquer them but sometimes with him i dont know and i usually know my shit and be on top my game.....but other then that he just so yummy i like the rest of his attitude i like his smile his smell his touch taste just everything about him and he always just makes me want more of him he seems like he is focused in other areas in his life i know that he likes money but im still tryin to see what his long term goals will be he kind of does free lance work but anyway i could see us building together and he has some tattoos on him that i feel like are mine. i have tattoos and all of mine mean something certain ones i couldnt get in certain places for different reasons but for somereason when i seen them on him its like i just felt them. i dont want to say what they are because it would be like im puttin that person on blast and i need to see how things go first he to dam sneaky. I will ask him well where were u he answer in my skin im like oh okay and he seems to get ticked off by the smallest things shit reality may be he just might not be feelin me how im diggin him or i could be diggin into something to much we arent together as a official couple so i guess i dont have much say so so im tryin not to fall to hard until i know im going to be caught he is the first person after my x that made me get some feelin in my ass my friend had told me she thought i was becommin emotion less and its not that i just was not making the same mistakes i made befor and just chilling. then she said u like keepin people hanging around knowing u not going to be with them as if i like the attention...yeah lol maybe I do.. who doesnt like to be wanted and catered to and spoiled from time to time and shit noone wants to be lonely and sometimes u need just someone to talk to. i have a really close male friend that i just trust and i hope i always keep him as a friend yeah i use to deal with him and that gets alittle sticky ;) but for the most part that is a friendship that i like then i have people i just chill with go grab a bite to eat maybe some drinks and thats about it i kind of threw them in the like a girlfriend cattegory (even know they dont know that) then i have the couple of x boyfriends that i had. one of them got this always going to be mind mentality i guess it didnt help much that i was dealin with him after we broke up. one is like mad at me because i left him alone ....but what about why i left u ass hole ...so im like what ever then i have the should i have let him go dude . he is so for me but i dont know i just felt like something was missing and i ended up leavin him alone to be with my ass hole like a retart. i use to be lookin at my boyfriend like why the hell i keep going back to u and go threw this shit and i had a perfectly good man that i left for u then for what ever reason my madness would melt away like ice and this warm i love this guy feeling would just come over me and he loved me just as strong if not harder and then that question of why leaves my mind because i know y. sometimes i feel like we broke up over the dummest things and as much as i cared i just dont want to look back. i dont know what the future may bring but right now i can have a relationship with someone else and never think twice.......i think....2 b continued

Let me get this right your breakin up with him

I not going to say who or let them know im puttin there business out there but someone i know told me that they were going to leave there "man"....hummmm he has a girlfriend .....not her by the way...he has another girl pregnant.....she fount this out while she was lookin in his phone while he was in the bathroom and i assume this means he is out there having sex with people unprotected......he has other "friends" but ummm yeah she said she is goin to leave him ....but u know the one thing about me i could talk about other people but i could talk about myself even better....lol i have made mistakes befor and i hope from the oustside lookin in i wasnt lookin that dam dum. I am the kind of chic that will bite my nose off to spite my face and if something isnt going how it should and i keep tryin and tryin i will painfully let it go befor i let it lingeron. I am kind of clingy and needy for my man and i dont like to share...im like smegil from lord of the rings with the precious..lol but i must have miss the memo that went around



ATTENTION: GROUP RELATIONSHIPS ARE NOW
IN STYLE


ummmmmmm no i will pass

runnnn its its........... ITS LOVE

Im watchin tough love and it makes me think about my relationshit i mean relationship..lol status to briefly break it down and make a long storey short im single to mingle. I had a good perfect with his flaws man but he was killed( later for that storey) and then i had a perfect ass hole man with a dr jeckle and mr hyde as relationship(later for that storey to). I ended up with two different situations that both left me with a broken heart and side effects. I have trust issues fears i over think certain things and i miss my routine im so use to being someones "wifey" that i dont think i remember how to be single and im so picky that i wont just be in a relationship with someone just to be in one...unlike other people i know.... and i love so hard and so right that i dont want to just give it to anyone. So i asked myself right now... What are my options lookin like right now and what do i want? I have a couple of friends each one on different levels. From just being a text buddy down up to someone i just started gettin intimate with. Im only having sex with one person but i do kick it with others. Right now im not gettin everything i need from one person so im kind of gettin alittle of what i need from here and there. I refuse to be like some of the females in my circle and just today my girl text me from her job she was having lunch with this guy she just adores but for what ever reason he done threw her in the friend bucket and she is in it with abroken bottle tryin to dig out of it for dear life screaming nnnnnooooo i wanted to be your girlllllllllll!!!!!! but any way she said that he was telling her about how him and his new girl were just browsing and they looked at engagement rings(they only being dating for like two months and my girl got like a year of i guess friendship in....how the hell she gonna let someone fly kick her out of the next girl friend line when the bitch came in the pic after her...i guess it just be like that sometime) i dont know if she took that harder the fact that he told her they recently just had sex or the day that he cut her a key to his appartment its like she been lustin on havin this jacket that was her size her color the perfect fit and as soon as she puts it down to look for her credit card someone else grabs it rushes to the regester pays cash and darts out the door and i tried to tell her in not so many words just let it go and move on not just because of that because of alot of things she knew him befor her and they hung out and stuff and she told me a couple things he did that kind of screamed out i like u as a friend but he did use to flirt with her sexually and i think that kind of went to her head so know she feels like she lost something that really wasnt hers to loose any way.